The Longest Yard. Burt Reynolds' convict team managed the needed three feet in a climactic battle scene against the Georgia prison guards. Adam Sandler and his fellow felons get the vital 36 inches in the remake 21 years later. Perhaps the Lions need some Hollywood film study to figure out how.
It can't hurt.
And speaking of distress, Lions quarterback Buck Pierce was in a world of it after Friday's nailing-biting 19-16 win over the Saskatchewan Roughriders before 31,948 fans at BC Place.
Clobbered, bloodied and throbbing with pain, the Blue Cross Knight put on one of the most courageous performances by a CFL quarterback since Matt Dunigan, the patron saint of concussed QBs, scrambled in the northern tundra.
Pierce threw for 343 yards with a wounded right wing, made a gutsy 20-yard run late in the game into the maw of a punishing Roughrider defence, then took the Lions on a winning 55-yard drive that Sean Whyte finished off with a winning 33-yard field goal with 0:05 left.
The win moved the Lions' record to 6-7 and puts them squarely back in the hunt for a playoff berth in the West Division. And it was vital, too, since B.C. now goes on the road for three games in successive weeks against West rivals. The defeat dropped the Riders to 7-6.
Whyte's field goal came after Saskatchewan quarterback Darian Durant took the Roughriders on an 85-yard touchdown drive, finished off by a 24-yard touchdown pass to Andy Fantuz, who beat Barron Miles as the veteran safety leapt in an attempt to make his second interception of the game.
With Ricky Foley and Anton McKenzie draped all over him, Durant then found Gerran Walker in the end zone for a two-point convert to tie the game at 16-16 with 2:33 left.
But the evening's heroics truly belonged to Pierce, who silenced his critics with 29 completions on 43 attempts, though not one of them produced a touchdown.
Still, it was a game that could be a career-maker for Pierce, who smashed his right hand against the helmet of Saskatchewan end John Chick in the first half but kept on ticking. Treated like a pinball in an arcade game, Pierce was continually savaged and driven to the turf while Saskatchewan's defence took advantage of the swinging door that was Damane Duckett. The NFL journeyman was making his first start at right tackle in place of the injured Jason Jimenez, and Pierce paid for it.
Yet for all his noble work, Pierce wasn't the instigator of the Lions' only touchdown, a 38-yard pass from backup quarterback Travis Lulay to Paris Jackson after the Lions caught the Roughriders sleeping on a second-down, short yardage play in the third quarter. Jackson finished with eight catches for 114 yards, but wasn't around at the finish after suffering an injury to his knee (ACL). Jackson will be assessed today by the Lions' medical staff.
As he hobbles in to the infirmary, Jackson will probably see Pierce soaking in cold tub in an attempt to ease the swelling to practically every part of his body.
While he was in great pain, so were Lions fans, after watching their team twice scrimmage at the Saskatchewan one-yard line in the first half, only to butt their heads against a green wall.
And what should have been a romp, quickly turned into a protracted, nervous slog.
After Pierce took his team smartly downfield on nine plays to start the game, the Lions were stopped on third down at the Saskatchewan one when Martell Mallett ran smack into linebacker Rey Williams, who outweighs the running back by more than 30 pounds.
In the second quarter, an interference call against Omarr Morgan on Geroy Simon again placed the ball at the Saskatchewan one. But first Lulay, on a keeper, and then Mallett, dropped in his tracks as Marcus Adams invaded the backfield, forced the Lions to settle for a 10-yard Whyte field goal.
Earlier, Whyte skunked his first of two misses in the first half when his 31-yard attempt hit the right goal post after a 60-yard completion from Pierce to Simon, the quarterback's longest completion this season. Pierce was drilled by Marcus Adams as he uncorked the throw, rattling his already painful ribs.
Adams, Chick, Tad Kornegay ... the 'Riders all got their licks in at Pierce's expense.
Still, in the end, it was the lion-hearted quarterback's amazing fortitude that ultimately licked Saskatchewan.
